Im lost for words. i sat there and i saw her broke down in front of me. i could feel my heart wrench inside of me. but i really didnt know what to say. how am i suppose to comfort her. how am i suppose to make her feel that i care. i really dont know. i know its been really really tough for her these days, and i know that she has been losing alot of weight, i know she has been struggling. but on the outside i show no expression not because i dont care, but im really bad at comforting someone. deep inside its as if thousands of knives are stabbing me. it hurts so badly to see her cry. she is the least person i want to see crying. i want to see her smile everyday, waking up in the morning to call "mei". i hope to see her eating well, hope to see her studying hard, hope to see her happy. but these days, i know i cant even do much. and that really hurts, because im helpless.
all i can do is just to pray continuously in my room.thats all. i feel helpless.what can i do or what can i say.. i really dont know.
and all i said was :" sorry" im sorry for not being there to support you, im sorry not being that listening ear, im sorry for giving you cold shoulders, im sorry for the things that i might have said that hurt so badly. im sorry.
i pray that you will learn to rely on Him more then him, and know that He is there even when he is not. and He will always love you even when he does not. seeing her like this hurts me so badly i feel like screaming out loud, but i cant. so i am going to trust in Him.
please get better.
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