Finally the journey is coming to an end.. the journey in which i have been striving hard for all along the way, and the journey which has also brighten and opened up my eyes to so many things that i have not known before entering innova. I must truly say that i am tired already. but im certainly enriched by how God has brought me through these 2 years all along the way.
These days i have been pondering alot as i watch the tv. what if 2012 is really the year in which the world end? what will become of me and my family and all those i care about? Will i end up in heaven? Have i been running this race that is worthy to be His child? i tend to think quite abit about it.
Then i realised there's so much to change in my life and so many dark areas in which may be displeasing to God. And i realise there's so much to learn as well. each day, im at awe of how God can use His creative ways to speak to me and how He crafts the way out. but the sad thing is i always only realised that its God working at hand only after i've been through the whole episode and realised that i didnt trust Him enough.
so this season, its time for a change. these days i have met with encounters that i use to flare up upon or become so short tempered about, but whenever im in the midst of it, i was able to tell myself, make a change so that the outcome will be different, or try to attempt to reply or handle the situation without being angry. so i guess i should start with the everyday lifestyle kinda method. it havent been easy to face disappointments or even sometimes anger, but i pray i will overcome it sooner or later. i never know it could be so hard. everytime, i face with disappointments or when some things dont go the way i though they would, i take a deep breathe and think of what i should do. i give in, i change the approach and say its alright. but then these days i have been getting really painful sunken feelings in my lungs like something nudging and seems to be some kind of hollow within me. i guess whenever i vent it out, the feeling is suppressed by the venting out and all.. keeping it in isnt easy, but at least the outcome would be better than it used to be..
yap, so change, constant change and relying on the One who never changes would be the best that i can do i believe. im down to my very last paper next thurs (1st dec) and after that, its really again a time and period for trusting in God of where He will bring me next. Whether or not it will be the place of my choice, im learning to see what doors He will open next and hopefully gain new insights again. everyday, there's a reason to be thankful because each day is filled with opportunities to change and even use the chances He give us to make a small difference in our lives as well as to the lives of others.
Give thanks (: (:
