There is a vacuum in us, which only He can fill.

There is a longing, only You can fill
A raging tempest only You can still
My soul is thirsty Lord to know You as Im know, drink from the river
That flows before Your throne

Take me deeper, deeper in love with You
Jesus hold me close in Your embrace
Take me deeper, deeper than i've ever been before
And i just want to love you more and more
How i long, to be deeper in love

Sunrise to sunrise, i will see Your face
Drawn by the spirit to the promise of Your grace
My love have found in You a HOPE that will abide
Here in Your presence, forever satisfy.

Daddy God, tomorrow marks the first event that the new exco is in control of. And i can feel the stress rising up in me as time ticks away. Help me to know that i will be able to pull through it. You can see the things left undone, the work that has not been completed, the tiredness, the stress i am facing with, the shame of not doing it well. But even if so, i lift up R.E.A.L Run ino Your hands.
amen.

I have a mission in life to fulfill

i was hanging the clothes like 10 mins ago and then i was doing some reflection about some stuff. about the day at church, about our family, about how my reactions can affect situations and how it had affected situations of today,about the events that went by today and the day before and about sis. i thought alot. and then suddenly that few questions i used to ask myself so often came to mind when i thought about sis. I used to ask myself,' why did God make me taller then my sis? why did He make me bigger in build? why am i like the one who is like suppose to protect her when i am the younger one? why am i like the 'guy' who is able to open all the bottle caps in the world that no girl in class in st marg's can open? why why why...' but then, suddenly, i felt God talking to. and it was like... there is a reason for all these to happen. it wasnt an accident that i am taller, stronger, bolder, fatter maybe, there was a purpose behind it. God made me all those factors different from my sis, is so as to be the protector to protect ehr form the danger, to be that pillar when she doesnt have one, to be that comforter when she loses one, to be that strength when she needs one. but then all these years i never realize this. in fact, i use to despise the fact that i am taller, bigger in build etc. but then now, i realize the truth which makes sense. and its just such a weird thing to find out like while hanging clothes in the yard.
the thing is, im guilty. many a times, i run away from this responsibility God has given unto me. i avoid listening to her conversations, i didnt want to know about her life, i thought that being ignorant would be good for myself, i thought that she was old enough to settle her own problems, but then i was wrong. God has purpose in making me who i am. it was not a wrong miscalculation of the dimension God wanted to give me neither a error in putting a tall gene in my DNA.
knowing this truth caused me to kinda like see more light and i am so .... shocked to find this out. but firstly, i pray to be able to better communicate with her and of course work hard to fulfill the responsibilty God has given me. to protect me sister.
i may seem really impatient with her at times, or i may seem like i dont care, but deep down, there is this eagerness to do something, but i just dont know how to take the first step.
so im lifting this up to the LORD.
TO GOD BE THE GLORY!
van van

"The had the DNA God wanted to make you"

"nothing in life is arbitrary.Its all for a purpose." He had a plan in mind. "God knew that those two individuals possessed exactly the right genetic make up to create the custom "you" He had in mind."
My birth isnt an accident. i knew that the moment i accepted Him in my life. but there were times that i was guilty, asking God,"why this family, why this condition, why me?" and looking back, i feel silly now. Because if i knew the answers to those questions, i could be God already. If i know the reason or purpose He has in mind, then there is no need for Him.
But right now its a change of mind set. instead, "who am i to be worthy for You to die for me, who am i that You planned every tiny step of the way, who am i?"
From the book. 'purpose driven life' it states, God's motive for creating us is His love." long before He laid the earth's foundations, He had in mind, had settled on us at the focus of His love."
love, van.

You're the reason that i live

Great and cooling weather today. (: went to school as usual and dada fetched me (: yay. haha. but i was really really tired cause i burned the midnight oil. pout. haha. but but anyway, i was alright at school i guess. i was alert for econs, math i think that was all i had. oh yah and PW lecture which was about the amazing presentation skills of Steve Jobs. i think he is good. haha.
but thats not the point im trying to put across. i just want to thank God for the peace and i find school really easy going, although yes there are many many things piling up which i have to do, but still i have yet to find myself dreading to go to school. In fact, i look forward to going to school and to see what the Lord has installed for me for the day. He gives surprises that we dont expect at times.
yap, thats about it, today was, fine. went for YOG fencing and got to catch a picture with the german fencer who almost got the gold medal. he played well (: the thing was, whenever he scored a point, he would point upwards. i was wondering ' was he pointing to God above?' haha. but it would be cool if he was. thank God for allowing me to have this once in a lifetime experience to watch it.
yap, time to hit the books van (:
love yah.

Praising God will renew and rejuvenate you. Psalms 59 "I will sing of your strength in the morning and I will sing of your love for you are my refuge

My strength comes from the Lord.

Completed 5km run today (: not by my own strength, but with His. Today was the first time i decided to go and face a challenge i thought i couldnt overcome. And E was really right this time. i have to rely on God's strength and hope and not rely on my own. the run was a real good one because i knew i was not running alone (; He was running along side with me. Through the whole journey, i did some thinking, did some reflection, and even had the time to talk to the great one above.
But frankly, it was a short one. before i knew it, the race was coming to an end already. but i am thankful for the opportunity. thankful for i could take some time to just run and think and not have anything else on my mind. it was also good running on the road and knowing that you wont get run down by a car. anyway, it was a good experience. i didnt go for the run to expect any good result, but i am thankful for the timing i came in for. considering that fact that i have not ran so long in awhile, considering the fact that i am not a runner, considering the fact that its my first time going for a long distance race, i thank God. the amazing thing was, it didnt rain while we were running. it was raining before the race, but when the race started, it stopped. and it didnt rain at all throughout the whole race. then, it started raining about 30mins after i finished the run. haha. tats how amazing our Lord is. Its just His plan that i finish it. even the skies cleared just for the event.
The results of the run does not matter as long as you know you have given your best. honestly, i didnt give my best shot today because i wanted it to be run for completion event. i just wanted to complete it. as simple as that. and im happy i completed it.
yap, alright i need to recuperate now. its going to be Sabbath soon (:
Van, philippians 4:13 : i can do things through Christ who strengthens me (:.

Cherished connections

Got this from the daily bread.org (:
"Those who know Jesus Christ as their Savior have even stronger ties. We are forever connected to Him and to one another. “We, being many, are one body in Christ, and individually members of one another,” Paul says in Romans 12:5. We’ve been “born of God,” and we love those who are “begotten of Him” (1 John 5:1).
When we get together with fellow believers, we have the opportunity to talk about the one we love—Christ—and of the love, forgiveness, and grace we have experienced in Him because of His death and resurrection (4:9-10). At such times, we can encourage each other to continue to trust Him and spur one another on to be faithful in our walk with Him.
This coming Sunday and throughout the week, let’s remind fellow believers of all that Jesus has done and of how truly wonderful He is."

We Christians have a kinship with
All others who believe,
And from that bond of faith and love
A mutual strength receive. —Hess
The more you love Jesus, the more you’ll talk about Him.

Thoughts:
indeed, it has been a joy to know that there re actually many around who are so hungry and eager to know more about God.And these people have been a great encouragement to me. And its a joy to know that all of us are living for the same reason; to be more like Jesus, to be Christ-like. No one said that this journey would be easy, but with such fired christians, no matter how tough the road is, we know that Christ is in control so there is nothing we should fear apart from God.

Alright, thank God its finally friday. although this week was only wed, thurs and fri, but it felt like it lasted for the while week from monday til friday. tired tired, need more sleep.time to hit the books, cause its school time (:
love love love, van

cant help but to thank God for such awesome friends (:

Trust God's leading.

Proverbs 3:5 - 6 states, Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all ways, acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.

in simple words, surrender your everyday to God van (: this verse use to speak to me so deeply. this verse was carved on the wall at the back of the wall in st marg's. i remember there was once it was during o levels and i was just sitting on the floor facing the wall preparing for the next paper so that i could enter the hall. and i was panicking because i did not really revise enough i knew full well that i was not ready to sit for the paper. but at that moment, all i could think of was how i could cramp everything in my head in that last 15 mins or so before that paper. the verse was so so so big ahead of me, but yet i did not even follow it. but then, a minute before the paper started, i looked up. and i saw the verse staring straight at me. and then i knew," its time." at that moment i nearly broke down, because i chose to lean on my understanding instead of His. i chose to want to rely on my strength to overcome the paper, instead of His. but many times i fail. and now, its ironic. because in innova there isnt anymore verses around the school premises to remind me, " van you need to lift it up to God to do the work that you yourself are not capable of." and its time i know that He is in control.
i miss st marg's. i miss seeing all the verses at every level of the school, knowing that even in times of business and crazy moments, God is at work. indeed He is, just that i chose to close a blind eye in the past. but now, i admit that i alone cannot overcome the challenges. only He can make my paths straight.
oh yah and lastly, this reminds me of the phrase at the top of the school hall in st marg's, " TO GOD BE THE GLORY". yap. its His glory not mine. (: i really miss st marg's. it was my comfort zone (:
van

We are valuable

Romans 5:8 But God demonstrates His own love toward us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Although so unworthy, He chose to die for me. amazing. (: and i believe there is no other reason i can find to not believe in this awesome God. But the thing is, i cant keep this feeling to myself, i have to share it to the world out there.
today we had the apologetics session on learning how to ask right questions and to start a conversation well when talking to a non christian about Christ. and yap, i have surely taken away interesting ways to tackle the problem of being stunt by weird questions. and the ultimate answer, is to turn back to the bible. (: haha. the speaker keep on using references from the bible and i too feel that its the ultimate answer that no one can take back about. and that is why i learn something new. i need to meditate more on God's word. When i have learnt to do so, i will become stronger in my walk and i would then also have the answers to the question others might ask. and i too can be so so sure, that this God that i am believing in is the one true God. (:

yap. When i feel like hope its gone, its when i will find the footprints in the sand. On this journey we're on, we have to constantly remember that our aim is to love one another and to make disciples of all nations (:.
thank God for all the youths out there who are so willing to spend time to bring others to God and life them all as they do so, not losing hope. yap, go LIFE (:
love, van. i love LIFE

To be an Esther

To be like esther, is to be beautiful on the inside more than on the outside. real beauty as defined, is to be kind, gentle and more giving. and i pray to be one of whom possesses those characteristics. The story of Esther demonstrates, the world is filled with beautiful women, but women who are filled with courage, faith, and devotion, they will rise above the rest. as stated froma book, ' anyone can be an Esther. Even when you feel your dreams have crumbled to dust, you can turn to the God who made you and loves you and trust Him to bring you up from the ashes clothed in honor, confidence and glory.'

a picture says a thousand words.

thank God for all these fun loving people (:

NATIONAL DAY. with God (:

had celebration in school (:

“Every tomorrow has two handles. We can take hold of it with the handle of anxiety or the handle of faith.” — Henry Ward Beecher

IF ITS MEANT TO BE MINE, IT WILL BE.

i feel silly. i put my faith in the Lord because of a dress. haha. today, me, sis and da da went to have lunch together (: love it (cause we hardly have lunch together cause da da is always busy on sundays at church) but today, we went to eat together although it was only at the food court. aha. and and, after eating da da went back to church but jie and i went to walk. hee hee. and we walked into topshop ( do that every week) as usual, and and... and I saw the maxi dress i tried on the other time. but the other time, it was a new arrival and it was $106. so i was like "forget it, not worth" haha. but but, today, it was priced $59. *jaw dropped* haha.
so so....but i had no cash with me cause its all with ma and godma.haha. so i wanted to reserve it. but but since it was on sale, so no reservations allowed. and i walked and walked around topshop trying to think of a solution. haha. and then jie said : just try to hide it some where, if its meant to be, it will be yours." and then suddenly i striked me that if God were to let me own it, it will be mine. so i prayed and said: " God, if this dress is going to mine, it will be here later when i can buy it. amen." haha. and then after that godma and ma agreed to get me the dress, but it was like 5 hours later when jie went to help me get it because i had to go for econs tuition. i kept telling myself, that if its not there anymore, it means that God didnt want me to have it and i will be alright without it. haha. but but but but...after jie got it, she texted. and IT WAS ONLY 39?! what?! *jaw dropped (again)*. hahaha. hee hee. and i was like at that moment thinking that i am really silly to pray so hard just because of a dress. but but haha. i am really ultra happy because its so worth. cant help it, the auntie essence is coming out again. haha. yap. praise God. i dont know why, but it seems like God rewarded me for trusting Him. it was like triple the joy. first, get to have lunch with the busy dada. second, ma and godma agreed to the dress. thirdly, the dress was still there after 5 hours even though its sunday and it was the last, and it was 20 bucks cheaper...whoa. haha. *smile smile* haha. yappies,
silly van posting a testimony about the story of her dress hahahaha.
love love love, van.
continue to have faith. faith means believing in something you cant see. hee

AIM FOR THE NEW YEAR AHEAD.

in addition, MORE REST. SABAT (: haha.

7th august 2010

On this day, i thank God for bringing me to this world, to be able to see His marvelous creation and to learn to be thankful. on this day, marks the start of my 17th year as a girl on earth and looking back on the journey, it was a long long way with lots of detours, lots of turns, sharp ones, steep ones, dangerous ones. it wasnt easy coming thus far, wasnt a smooth riding journey, but i am so so sure the whole time, i was not alone embarking on it. indeed someone else up there is the planner of the route im on. He is the one who plans the turns, but He is also the one who plans my going. And i am grateful because this year, the route has been.....beautifully and wonderfully made. Sharp bends, slopes and rough roads were meant to be there for a reason. to teach me lessons i will keep with me for the rest of my life.
Alright, keeping it simple, thank God for the people who made this day special. thank God for the smiles that never failed to lighten up my day. One more year means one more step closer to God, means one more step wiser and stronger. it means having more sense. haha. But in this new year, i want to rededicate it to the Lord. Because without Him, i would have been lost and gotten my way lost in the wilderness.
Thank God for AAAAAA, DDDDD, EEEEEEE, YYYYYYY and the cheng fans. haha. the cake was nice, the prezzie was nice, the people who was there was nice, the surprise was nice. Im glad to be able to know them (: .
yap, 7th aug. (:
love you van. haha. me gotta sleep now although its like just ast 12 not long ago.

Counting the blessings He has provided.

Living by the expectations of others causes me to abuse the gift of time in another way.