Love God, love the family

What more can i say? nothing. Today i got the news that i failed HCE and that mummy and daddy has to meet the principal and all. hmm although there is a certain amount of stress, somehow im learning to divert the stress into motivation.
Dad came into my room just now and decided to talk to me. And im really thankful for parents like them because they dont stress me up with school work neither try to control my life. And all daddy asked was if i needed help. All these years, no matter how tight we may be financially, they would somehow get the amount of money to help me sign up for tuitions and all. And what more can i ask from such understanding parents. All they asked is for me to give my best. Never As, never demanded their daughter to be a top student, never scholarships, not even a placing in school. They just wanted the best out of me.They just wanted me to take responsibility of this life im living.  And the only goal that daddy has in his life is to see his daughters go into uni and most importantly, to love God.
It gives me a great sense of guilt to disappoint them. And i know i have to work so much harder. I guess its time to wake up now and stop running away from the fact that A's is drawing near, but rather really study for God.
I hope i can really recover from having the phobia of exams and tests because they arent healthy, but rather that these phobias be converted to the affirmation of Christ that He will watch me and everyone else through this journey. And yap, no more excuses.The fact that im typing this post clearly shows im being naughty again because i should be asleep by now and not on the com.


"Can a woman forget her nursing child, that she should have no compassion on the son of her womb? Even these may forget, yet i will not forget you." Isaiah 49:15

God’s love for us is as expansive as the open arms of Christ on the cross.


Thank God for parents!
love, van

Love

         I love this wallpaper, randomly found it from tumblr and once again im reminded about loving others as yourself. yesterday, i got the valentines day note from my classmates and i just cant stop reading them over and over again because i am so touched by the words that they say.. hahah and i cant stop smiling whenever i read them. and i really want to thank God for this bunch of awesome friends, maybe more then that cause we've been through so much more.. but i have really grown alot more not just as a student but also alot more in Christ.
       Yap, anyway, friday was the tea session with the JC1s and i had loads of fun. but more then fun, i enjoyed hearing the testimonies of Dan and Aaron, and it sort of gave me a hard awakening call to tell me i need God in my Life more and i need to feed on spiritual word more. yap yap.
       ITS SABBATH AGAIN and its late so i think i shall head to bed now so i can be on time to enter God's kingdom. yappies yappies.
        Good night.
love, van

All we do is trust Him

              
                 This morning, God took 5 year old Nathaniel home with Him. Although the first thing i heard the news, i asked," why?, Why Nat? He's 5 and he belongs to a family so complete, why....?" But the next minute, i knew i had to trust what God had in mind. He has His reasons for taking him away from all of us. Nat struggled the past few weeks. He couldnt talk, couldnt react, couldnt understand. Hearing mummy talk about how Nat had been these few days, my heart sank. Nat's 5 and he's a brilliant boy whom i knew would grow so strong in the Lord. And auntie Dorris is one woman i really look up to. She is strong emotionally, physically, psychologically and most of importantly, spiritually. I have never seen a family so complete like theirs. Laura who is only 2 is bright, Amanda who was just born is not even a year old but they are complete. Why hit on a family so complete? I truly do not know the answer, but i know for sure its because God knows they are strong enough to handle which is why He chose nat. Looking at them, im at a lost because i cant digest the fact that Nat has went home. But maybe mum's right. Maybe its a better choice to take him away now, so he dont have to face with the hardships of the end times. Maybe ....
              God works in ways we cannot see. But He will make a way for the family. They have fought a good fight, they have finished the race, but all they need is to the faith right now to know that God is in control. And i know He is..
              Once again, it brings forth the thought of how important it is to cherish the ones beside us before something strikes or hits us real hard. Once again, im reminded of the need to be strong in the Lord because when times like this crashes down on us, we need to trust. And we all need to grow deeper and stronger in the walk so that we dont fall and are not shaken.
             Its always sad to depart, but Nat is in a better place.

van

JOURNAL TIME (:

After talking to sarah, im so glad im back on the track and yap i have gotten really good tips from her (: so i decided to start journaling.. again. haha. i use to attempt having to journal every night, but yap, it always failed because i will not have the time to write an entry and all, and soon, the journal becomes dead. haha yap. but im so confident this journal will last. its been good having to write 5 entries now. at least it gives me time to reflect on the day and what went wrong and how to overcome it.. its good i feel. Although in the first place i started this blog so to write down and pen down thoughts and incidences, i realized there are things that are personal and the blog is not  suitable place to pen it down because i do not know who actually reads this blog (: haha. but this blog will still be a platform for my testimonies and things that happen in my everyday life. (:
today i decided to take a break and rest. really rest  because the swelling on the ankle totally hasnt gone down yet and its like getting bigger.. sigh. but maybe its a blessing in disguise to help me rest i guess.yap and partly also because last night was one of the craziest nights i've hard. i was struggling with the tiredness and the amount of work load. i finished econs essay, then i went for a nap, woke up at like 1 plus, attempted the geog essay and went back to sleep again at 2 plus and the next thing, i woke up at 3.30 to complete math tutorial...it was war. haha. everytime i dragged myself out of  bed, i was like a zombie. and im seriously never gonna let that happen again. and though yes i completed all my work but everything in my body told me i really need to sleep. so yap, this morning i decided to rest. sigh though its a pity im missing out alot in school, but i think i need rest.
this week was interesting because its like trying to catch up on all the assignments and tutorials. but im so glad to friends like dan and su and faaqih, cause they totally helped me alot with coping with all these loads. so much work to do, so little time, but God has it all in control.
oh oh and i manage to do up a new new year resolution for 2011.. although its alittle late, but im glad its up..
thank God that its friday once again and thank God that life has been manageable this week (: and God has been so real in terms of the things i encounter in school and all.

"Peace i leave with you; my peace i give to you. Not as the world gives do i give to you. Let not your hearts be troubles, neither let them be afraid."  - John 14:27 ( from A)

yappies. time to start studying now, although its a rest day (: catch up on all the lectures (:
love, van