You are the Potter, and i am the clay

Today, it stroked me that i am not sure of the purpose God has in my life. At Young adults, they sang they sang the song, and it reminded of how at times i lose focus of the purpose in my life that God has set for me. But frankly, what is my purpose? And how am i to fulfill it, and who am i to be the one to fulfill it. These questions were in my mind as i sang the song.

No eye has seen, no ear has heard
The good that the Lord has prepared for those
Who wait on Him, to hear His voice
"I am the potter and you are the clay"

Jesus take me in Your hands
And make me all that You want me to be
Jesus help me understand
Your purpose and what You can do through me
Fulling your destiny

                   Indeed, i think the reason im living each day is to seek what God has in plan for me. Am i already fulfilling it? Am i doing a good job? When i approach that day when i see God in Heaven, will He say :"Well done, good and faithful servant" ? I am not living each day to find the most suitable life partner i can live with or to face daily issues about relationships i get troubled about or neither is it about the choices i make that will determine my secular livelihood. But rather, focusing on the purpose He has in mind for me. Many do not realize that purpose and live with no direction. Similarly, i get lost. almost all the time. Lost in the world, lost in the kind of emotions the world gets into and lost in that dead cycle where i cant get myself out of it. Someone ones told me that one day, when i reach the peak of the mountain i have been climbing all along, i would simply find a ceiling..and thats all there is. I dont want to find myself pursuing something that will fade in time to come, something that is not what He has for me... And this is where prayer comes in. Prayer.
              Thank God for the lesson learnt today (:

van

Time has been slipping off my fingers like water. "time to hit the books" i will say, but after 1 hour, nothing has been done.. I need more discipline!!!

van

There is always something to give thanks for...

Give thanks for all the sighs and stresses, it shows we are stressed up about something we are unhappy about and we want to do something to change it.
Give thanks for all the hurtful comments that come out so straightly, this shows they dont beat around the bush and they want to solve the issue quick
Give thanks for all the quarrels, this shows that they actually get agitated and are not perfect, just like everyone else.
Give thanks for the tears that come flowing down, this shows im human and that there is more room for improvement so that they wont come flowing down the next time.
Give thanks for walk aways, this shows we want a time out, to take a step back to look at it from another view and reflect upon what has just happened.
Give thanks for closing doors, for we need time to repent in our own corners of the house
Above all,
Give thanks for parents that actually scold, because this shows they care about us. God gave parents the authority for a reason.
However, i'm truly sorry for all the times where i havent been the best daughter they can have, or failing to live up to their expectation. Truly sorry for at that moment i forgot that i could have done better. But i must admit im still learning. im still learning to understand it from your point, but i need their trust more. To trust me to make the right decisions and to trust that i wont break their trust. I understand they cant afford to risk it. But i hope they can see their baby girl is growing up and i need their trust to continue walking strong in this crude world.
im tired of trying to tell them, trust me.

All in all, im grateful for we will definitely grow stronger after the rain. we will all learn from it and cherish one another more. I may have never said it because  i dont know how to put it across, but im so so so thankful for everyone of them, and i wont want to lose them. never.

van

Life just gets better.

            
We had a great time spent together. Be it the sharing, laughing, praying, singing, playing, or even the silence in the theatre. That life spirit just naturally glow in each of them and thats really amazing. Each with our own gifts and talents, so different, yet we can all gel together so. it was just a pity we didnt manage to get photos together today..*pout*. but i think i will cherish those times when we were together. Because life will be different without our queen around soon. *pout* (again). i guess i will be missing her songs and her singing on random streets where not many people have the courage to do that.
             Anyway, im gonna drop the topic now until 26th jan, and im gonna cherish everytime i get to meet her.And it starts with today. Managed to walk her all the way back home all the way to the lift. We talked and smiled (: it was nice though we didnt say much, but the presence of having to walk together was peaceful. Give thanks (:
           "One life, love it"- van.
<3 van

He smoothens the rough ends.

Today, was a packed day. f\From dental to home to church for wedding to tuition, to church again, to home, and to the Regents hotel. fully packed, but fully satisfied. because the Lord took control. He took control of my thoughts and my plans and made everything turn out well (:
GIVE THANKS.
He gave me a very very understanding econs tutor, who never fails to be patient with my late goings and is ever patient to repeat something i missed even though she has repeated herself twice.
GIVE THANKS.
He gave me parents that provide for my every need even if it may be during the hard times when we are short in finances.
GIVE THANKS.
He made buses and trains arrive so timely before i can stand on the platform for more than 3 mins.
GIVE THANKS.
He provided a car for dada, so he can pick me home (: without me having to survive the one hour journey back home.
GIVE THANKS.
He make plans meet, so our outing on monday would be successful.
GIVE THANKS.
The list goes on, but just within one day, there is endless things to thank God for.
Im grateful for i have again lived yet another day.

good night. ITS SABBATH DAY ALREADY. GIVE THANKS (:

<3 van

"Therefore do not fear them. For there is nothing covered that will not be revealed, and hidden that will not be known."- Matthew 10:26

You keep me hanging there

Daddy God,
its coming back again. that feeling that makes me feel so weak and fragile. What would Jesus do in times of such. How would He react to those words, to those laughter, to those hypocrisy? He would forgive. But why do i know the answer fully but yet find it so so so tough to do so. It creeps into my mind.



Isaiah 41:10- So do not fear, for i am with you; do not be dismayed, for i am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; i will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Anyway

People are often unreasonable, 
Illogical and self-centred;
Forgive them anyway.


If you are kind, 
People may accuse you of
Selfish,ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway


If you are successful, 
You will win some false friends and
Some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.


If you are honest and frank,
People may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.


What you spend years building,
Someone could destroy it overnight,
Build anyway.


If you find serenity and happiness,
They may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.


Give the world the best you have.
And it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you've got anyway.


You see,in the final analysis,
It is between you and God;
It is never between you and them anyway.

83rd GB camp 2010

In those little activities, we've leant so much more. and i think its through the way they talk and how they express their little thoughts so cutely and creatively, that keeps me going no matter how tired i may be. (:

Thank God for the 8  pretty girls that turned up for camp. it was fruitful and fun although we didnt had big big activities. They were simple, but we had alot of fun time as one 83rd company. Yesterday, after school i head straight down to kovan. garh garh, long way, but the moment i saw them, the tiredness all faded (: and then yah dah yah dah.. we had popiah for dinner. no ordinary popiahs but popiahs we get to make ourselves. Each girl created their very own form of popiah and i thought its really cute. haha.although some might have encountered failures like putting too much garlic etc. but it was fun, and a good experience for the girls to make their own and to have the chance to start to learn to cook. (:

and then today we did outdoor cooking (: really had fun cause we used the mass tins (i dont know if its the right spelling but anyways...) and we got to go grocery shopping for the ingredients (: shopping with squad 2 was really fun because they very excited and they wanted to cook like baked cheese pasta with mass tins which is like too difficult..haha. but we invented our very own western cuisine haha. it was really fun being being able to do it with squad 2. (:

Overall, the camp was a great time spent with them, through doing crafts, cooking, singing, playing games, picking litter, or even just getting them to go to bed. Time spent with each of them was fruitful.
One thing that really touched me is how eager they are to learn about God's word and also about christianity. Out of the whole company, only 3 girls are christians. the rest are mainly muslims or buddhist, or free-thinkers. and i think it was a joy being able to share with them about Christ through the devotions, songs and even hand sign language which we do. I hope through the camp, it will spur them on to know what is it to be a christian.

The theme of the camp is to be a steward (: and i think it is really important, not just a reminder to the girls, but it was also a reminder to myself that i have to constantly be a steward and to take responsibility of the things that are set upon me.

Many a times, we tend to forget that the life we are living is not ours, but it's God who gave it to us. And we tend to forget that we need to be stewards, taking full responsibility of our lives and to know that we are to take control of it, but with God who is the traffic lights and direction signs, giving us the direction in our lives. But we, are the drivers of our car, we can choose to follow the direction signs and signals or we can choose to just go our own way. Stewards. We need to be stewards of our lives.

Indeed, no one is too young to do God's work (: something i learn from the 83rd Girl's Brigade company (: haha.

Isabelle, Ara, Gabrielle, Shao Min, Yi Ru, Eunice, Bao Yi, Amanda. missin them (:


Really thank God for the opportunity to be able to serve Him by teaching young little girls (:
my eyes are closing alr, so..... night night night

<3 <3 van

miss donna Neo.

i guess im gonna miss her alot...she is someone strong on the inside. someone who hides how she feel no matter how sad she is.and someone who is so caring and helpful (: and selfless.
love her much.. <3 without her, rasalas would not have come this far for the year.

miss her.

Could have done much better

Today, we had a run for hope run. And... i didnt finish it well. didnt complete the 10km.. and kinda disappointed with myself though. because i didnt push myself hard enough and i know i could done much much better. i fail to lift up the run fully to God to allow Him to help me finish the race..and i gave in to my tiredness and gave in to that perseverance which i was suppose to have.

but from today's run, i've picked up a few lessons learnt. i really need to have sufficient sleep the day before the run and i seriously need to run before race day and not plan on running without training at all.

But overall, thank God for the run and also the great weather...

van

Thank God for the promotion

I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 3:14

thank and praise God for the results of not just myself, but also for the whole of 31A. now we are heading towards a even greater and challenging goal, the A levels.

But at the end of the day, we are not just aiming for these goals on earth, but to set our hearts and mind of the goal to entering the kingdom of Heaven, to have eternal life God in the heavenly courts. (:

The day of rest and recuperation

its a PUBLIC HOLIDAY (: no homework, no errands to run, no need for assignment catching up. just rest and relax and see the day go by. (: woke up at 10am today which is so rare.haha. but had a great night of sleep in mum's room cause dada is away at malaysia. hee hee. so i sneaked into their room to sleep (: haha. anyway today..although i have no plans, but im still happy to be able to have this break (:

pray that our gathering in the afternoon will go well (: yays...*excited*

van van

PEACE

hee hee, today was a awesome day (: managed to do quite abit, and my mood was... good (:  i guess, considering the fact that i did not get angry at all (: in fact, im happy. hee hee. a sense of peace in the heart gives off a warm fuzzy feeling. hee hee. church went well today, had lunch with the ushers, then had HANOI MEETING (: it went well i guess. ideas went across. but i really liked the part about Jackson sharing about the story of Gideon. the moral of the story is, "we may be small in number, but even if there is only 1, 1 soldier left on the battle field, that one man can still defeat a army as many as the sand in the desert, because he has the Lord on His side" (: i didnt get the opportunity to say this in the afternoon, so i will say it now. "AMEN!!!!!!!" haha (:

looking forward to the trip, reporting 19th dec, budget terminal, 5 AM!!!!!

van van hits the bed NOW! - anyway anyway, the picture is a shot of VANS ! yay. haha.lol. lame me. night night

<3<3<3

Be a passer-by

                 Daddy God, today i woke to find myself in the same situation. and my heart is so so so painful now but yet i dont know what is happening. what can i do to solve the situation what can i say? practically nothing. why do they think by keeping me from knowing what happen will solve the issue better? why cant they see that i am already mature enough to know what is happening and im not a fool. Daddy God, i can see they are helpless too. And its only up to You now. Everyday i live on this fear. If i am feeling very happy, there might actually be a danger because something bad might soon happen.
                Daddy God, as a passer-by, im lost. i find it no point crying anymore but it hurts so badly i dont know what else i can do or say.. and its making me crazy.

van

Its indeed a amazing race

          
               For one couple to stay as one, its not simple. Watching the amazing race asia was really a joy because through the programme, i have learnt important life long values that can be useful in the near future.
          
             2 weeks ago, a couple got eliminated from the race. When interviewed, the husband told the reporter: " To me, the amazing race is short and will be done one day, but the race that will require more effort and time and energy is the race of marriage." That line really touched me cause i could see how much he cherished his wife and their relationship. In the course of the race, there were many times when the wife wanted to give up because she had the phobia of heights and so on, but all the time, though the husband would get mad, but in the end, he would say, "its alright dear, the important thing is we are in it together."
             And thats the important thing about relationships. its takes two hands to clap.

vanes

the journey has come to an end

Its the official day that PW has ended. All these months of preparation and work just for this day to arrive. and it has. Though the journey was long, i think i have really gotten alot alot of insights from the subject. learn more about people and of course, about God. Many a times when it was so difficult to pull through, God was there. Holding my hand and telling me to keep going.
Through PW, i have also learn more about the people around me. but thank God, it is finally finally the end to it.
but the sad thing, is that the end is coming to and end already. time really waits for no men..sigh
haha
okee, no celebration to mark the end of PW, but finally something off the list (:

<3 vahney

new song!

Currently working on something for a special someone...hee hee.. hope it goes well..and thank God for the inspiration for the song. the words just came to my mind when i was praying to God last night and i started writing the lyrics. cant wait for it to be ready. yays me. haha
lol
van van

Answered prayer

That friday night, walked home heavy hearted because i knew i had done wrong. and i knew i had not settled the issue well. I was worried because time was ticking away and i had to do something, but i knew not what i could do. i felt helpless once again. friday night, while everyone was happily celebrating the public hol they had.... i was kinda disappointed. not with anyone else, but myself. why did i not check the roster? why did i not plan ahead? why this why that van? i asked...but then i prayed. not knowing how the issue will settle or how it will turn out on sunday at lync, but i just had to trust Him...

called sarah to talk and really thank God for her...cause i felt better. (: 8 years best friend. garh...dont know what i would have become with out her and gabby.. but her prayer and her talking really made me fell so much better after we laughed and all.. and then a text came...

GOD HEARD MY PRAYER... haha.. in end, Pastor mich could lead on sunday and that really liked save the day.. haha. thank God x 1 million times..

sarah taught me a lesson, van needs to learn to say no. haha

and i was able to sleep in peace. kkkk.

van van *smiling*

Living like you gave me another try

This song, really enlightens me (: the lyrics is really meaningful. Its a song from the movie "letters to God".
Lyrics:
I look at your smiling face, 
Your so weak, yet you have such strength, 
You take a glance around this place, 
You make the best of everything 

You give me hope, in spite of everything, 
You show me love, even with so much pain 
So I'll take this life and live like I was given another try 

We laugh, we cry 
Sometimes we're broken and we don't know why, 
I'm tired and I lose my way, 
you help me find faith, oOo 

You give me hope, in spite of everything, 
You show me love, even with so much pain 
So I'll take this life and live like I was given another try 
Just give me another try 

You give me hope, in spite of everything, 
You show me love, even with so much pain 
So I'll take this life and live like I was given another try 

You give me hope, in spite of everything, 
You show me love, even with so much pain 
So I'll take this life and live like I was given another try 
Just give me another try 
Just give me another try


van van.

Sinning is like pounding a nail.

Sinning, is like pounding in a nail. But forgiving is like taking a hammer and pulling the nail out from the wall. Although sins can be forgiven, there will still be a scar, and there will still be consequences which we have to face.
Did you know van too at times find it so hard to forgive. but many a times, people tell me that i have to learn to forgive myself before i can forgive others. But how to forgive myself when i know that at times the hurt i caused is so deep. The hurt that i cause will set a deep scar in the lives of others, especially the close ones. Its been years already, but yet these scars never healed. Every time, a spark sets off, it becomes a fire because the scars reveal themselves.
Today, i spent 7 hours on my own. these 7 hours, i spent talking to God and also reflecting alot about the life i have been living. Went back to st marg's, went to the first ever tuition centre i applied for, ate lunch alone, took the bus and everything. it was great "me time" spent. But then i asked myself, what is it that i want. then i realised i didnt have what i want in mind which is why my decisions keep changing and that is why i did things i regretted after that...
from now on, its time to get back on the track. the track that pleases God.

forgive but dont forget cause they are valuable lessons that needs to be archived.

van van.

Spreading the sweet aroma of Jesus

          I once read that when christians gather to pray or even sing praises to the Lord, it is actually spreading the sweet aroma of Jesus. In fact, getting along is the key thing. Getting along, in fact is important to God.
John 17:20 -21 “I do not pray for these alone, but also for those who will believe in Me throughtheir word; that they all may be one, as You, Father, are in Me, and I in You; that they also may be one in Us, that the world may believe that You sent Me."


Im tired of doing this all over again, but He gives me the strength i need!
van van.