After the study session, i went to Alexandra Hospital(AH) for my wisdom tooth consultation. And so it has been confirmed that my surgery will be on the 4th of January 2013. Apart from the operation there are like so many other procedures to be made. Going for a CT scan because apparently from the X-ray my nerve that is linked to the jaw and nose and tongue is quite near my wisdom tooth, so we have to do some CT scan which we have to personally go to NUH to do it, then deliver that scan thing to AH. And after the CT thingy, comes the consultation with the anesthetist. Since i've chosen to do my surgery with general anesthesia, so i will be put to sleep and there are complications or allergies that can be caused due to the anesthesia that is used. And because i dont have medisave, so i have to once again trouble my mum to bear the burden of the cost for my surgery. Sigh.
On the way back with mum, tension was sparked once again. She claimed that all i do is sleep and im such a procrastinator because i dont take up enough tuition kids to be able to cover my university fees. And when i try to explain my views, in the end, all i get is "I'm your mother and you dont teach me what to do. If you are so smart then pay for ur own surgery fees. So shut up." Conversations in the family usually end this way. By them pushing their authority on me. When they say things that are wrong, they keep quiet. And when they no longer can debate on with whatever im saying, they use their authority to shut me up. And that is what's exhausting me out. Trying to make them see it from my point of view. That i talk just like them.
I guess i do agree that at times i can get really impulsive and the words that come flowing from my mouth are rather harsh. However, i dont think that they have to go to the extend of having to use physical treatments to deal with the situation. Furthermore, she just walked away from me, not caring if i could actually get into the same elevator. Childish. Simply childish. Just like trust is earned, so is respect. I cannot simply respect someone if this is the way they choose to deal with situations. And i dont wanna grow up becoming one of them.
I guess all these are the little obstacles in my life that are always on my mind. And with all these on my mind, i just simply cant sleep. I think about them, ponder and wonder if there were ways to change the situations. Self-reflections, personal goal settings, i can all do these when im alone, quiet in my room. Thats why i sleep late. But they dont bother to ask. They wouldnt ask how im coping in school until my results take a plunge. And they wonder why i choose to talk to Alv more, because he was the listening ear when i didnt have one. He bothered to know about my day when no one cared. Dont get me wrong, apart from Alv, God was there. Always there. Alv was like that extra battery that kept me there when i had no more energy left. When i was down, he would be there to allow me for recuperations. Thats why i miss him i guess, So much.
Honestly i miss Hugo too. I miss having him there to take walks with, and be there friend to hear me out and give me hugs when i needed one.
Just wish i could have a thunder buddy right now. i mean now.
Anyway apart from all the misery i faced today, i managed to do a little sticker shopping spree at a new store that opened in lot 1 called "The paper store". The pretty stickers are in the pic below, and i have this thing for stickers that i cant resist and will go for them as long as i can afford. At least something to calm the nerves.
Pretty Stickers from "The Paper Store"
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