i will sing

i will sing - Don Moen
Lord You seem so far away
A million miles or more it feels today
And though I haven’t lost my faith
I must confess right now that it’s hard for me to pray

Cause I don’t know what to say
And I don’t know where to start
But as You give the grace
With all that’s in my heart

I will sing
I will pray
Even in my darkest hour
Through the sorrow and pain

I will sing
I will pray
Lift my hands to honour You
Because Your word is true
I will sing


Lord it’s hard for me to see
All the thoughts and plans you have for me
But I will put my trust in You
Knowing that You died to set me free




This song touched my heart today at FOP. and it just spoke to me so deeply i realise that i need to praise Him more. Every word of the song really expresses how i feel inside. and how i should be reacting. and there isnt mych left for me to say, its all written in the sing itself and when Don Moen sang it today, i was just wowed by it. wowed by how awesome the Holy Spirit is and how great is our Lord God almighty.

He is my LIGHTHOUSE

the test of faith is when we face with difficulties, are we still able to say, " Yes, Lord, in You I place my worries and there is nothing too small that You cannot overcome." i struggle to say at times, because at times, i feel that who am i that can be worthy of His grace and mercy. I failed to put Him first at times, i forgot that in everything, He is in control. But then through all the times, i know that He is there. i may not be calling out to Him, but He reveals Himself in ways i dont expect. through people i meet, through things i encounter in my everyday life. He is just like the light house, to provide light when i need it the most. The light that gives me comfort when i feel like i am walking in the dark, alone. The light house never fails to shine its light towards the ocean, to give any sailors the sign that there is a light house and its safe there. Just as the Lord provides the light, in His presence, i am safe.
Yesterday was frantic. so many things happened all at once and i felt lost, and i felt empty because i dont know how i should react to it and what i am suppose to do about it. But i reflected alot alot yesterday, though about alot alot of things, but i am still stuck at the cross roads. what am i suppose to say, or do? or how am i suppose to face it? and i could do was to pray and hope.
Although it was really bad because 3 big things happened, i was glad that i knew God was working. thank God that it was Daniel's birthday so that my mind could take a break for a while, thank God for aaron, yu han and e, they made my day by filling it with smiles for at least 2 hours. thank God for isabelle for comforting me. there are still things i can thank God for no matter what. and of course, thank God that daddy is safe.
"Today is the day that You have made, i will rejoice and be glad in it."
van

my personal testimony,

Life has been like climbing a huge mountain, so dangerous, yet when reaching to a certain height, i feel that sense of satisfaction. the journey hasnt been easy, the going gets real tough, but at the end, all these struggles are what made me. We really came a long long way to where we really are now. And its just how amazing the journey has been. there were ups and downs, but at this point in time, the downs did not seem that down after all. even if it did, it was because at that point in time, we didnt put God in the equation. but its because of Him that we have made it thus far. I grew to know the Lord, became one of His own, but through these years, there were times i wasnt certain if i was on the right track. At times life felt like i was walking a thin thread on high grounds and every step i took was a risky one. maybe i fell once or twice, maybe thrice. but i learnt from them all. through the downfalls in life, it was when God will still stretch out His mighty hand. no matter how many times i've failed Him, He would still be there.
Today during LYNC, pastor Mike told us to go home to think carefully about our personal testimony and as he went through pointers on how to go about doing it, my life testimony seemed to playback like a video tape recorder. i recalled the times when i was not His own, instead i was worshipping another god i never knew. but then He found me, used me, and gave me a calling. and many asked : "Arent you tried of doing this every week? And what about your homework?" and then i thought to be myself," tired? " "maybe", maybe i was tired, dried that i was not growing at times, but all these commitments i gave to God was what kept me going. He is the reason i sing, the reason i am not afraid to go the extra mile, the reason i would give up time just to be in His sanctuary. Serving Him meant giving up time to study, but it meant spending more time with someone who gave His all for me. No matter how much time i give up for God, it will never be enough. so time is only thing i can sacrifice i guess. And giving up time to serve Him is the best thing to do. Just pending in His presence.
Well, life is like a mountain like i said, there are rough and steep slopes there are ups and downs, but at the end, the scenery from the peak of the mountain would just over right all the other struggles. and thats my goal in life, to reach the peak, and meet with Him one day, hearing Him say, " well done good and faithful servant!"
van

Character

Who are you?
"Character is what you are in the dark when no one but God is watching" because "Anyone can look good in front of an audience, or even in front of their friends," For it is said, "It is an entirely different thing to stand naked before God, to be known as you truly are inside."

Ephesians 4:25: "Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor for we are all members of one body."
So let us learn to be honest with one another and not harbor our thoughts deep within. If we learn to talk more, we might be able to open up more, and maybe we wont have our thoughts crossed, we wont find ourself finding ways to get out of this maze, we wont find ourselves caught, and we wont face the coldness anymore.
i hope things get better, i pray.
van

JAM 1:12 Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised

His grace is immeasurable, His mercy is inexhaustible, His love is inexpressible.

He giveth more grace when the burdens grow greater,
He sendeth more strength when the labors increase;
To added affliction He addeth His mercy,
To multiplied trials, His multiplied peace. —Flint

Just like me

Dear Lord, forgive our yielding to temptation;
Forgive our pride, our love of worldly things.
Have mercy on our love of sensual pleasure,
Compassion on the sins that self love brings.

It must be hard to understand us sometimes;
So very different is your heart and mind.
But wait, I just remembered that you do know
What it’s like to be a part of humankind.

You suffered just like we do, and you were tempted.
You lived with us so you could comprehend
The things that we go through each trying day,
So you could give us mercy, and be our friend.

Thank you for compassion and forgiveness;
Thank you for your love and empathy.
Thank you, Lord, for coming down from heaven
To experience life’s trials, just like me.

By Joanna Fuchs