Always seeking

I tend to wonder off and almost everyday, i ask myself whats next. Whats nexts in line for my life, for my future, and so on. 

Work has been engaging and exciting despite the steep learning curve and long hours of standing. I do love my job. But when i stop and think about all there is, i wonder, what's next. 

I meet all sorts of people at work everyday. But times when i meet people of my age and i see them carrying notes and wearing tees from various local universities, i sink alittle on the inside. Just a little. And all that emotions would just come flooding through. 

Just last night, dad and i had a rather intense discussion ( which we always do), and he asked me this, just ask yourself this question " What do you think all parents want for their children?". The answer, its simple, yet complicated. Because its easier said than done. And there is no perfect parents in the world. 

And when all of the discussion came to an end, i couldnt stop crying. Not because i was sad or i was disappointed with my dad, but because i was thankful. Thankful for what they have provided. And in all these years, i failed to see their care and love. Yet at many times, i failed to make them proud. 

These days i think alot on my part. About my education, my future, my dreams, my ambitions, basically all about life. But it hurts me so bad to know that I cant make my parents happy and i may sometimes be a burden for them. So, once again its really easier said than done. 

Juggling with work and time with the family has been difficult due to the long hours at work. I hardly get to spend time with them and i should have cherished the times we got to spend quality.. 

Well all i ask for is for our family to learn to just see the intentions at heart. 

Anyways, its just a reminder to me every single to be thankful for all the loved ones around us. And recently the family has just convinced grandma to move in with us and in the near 2 years, there will be changes with the who family dynamics again. I'm sure living under the same roof with so many people wont be easy, but its gonna be really fulfilling.

In the road ahead, im not too sure what to expect, but just like the title, im "always seeking". Always seeking the Lord in the direction to go and seek for answers to the questions i have on my mind all the time. Seeking.