19th Day: Nasya turns ONE

How time really flies and now it has been one year ever since Nasya's birth. Amazing. This one year watching Nasya grow has been such a humbling experience and for me learning to take on a role of a baby sitter at times, learning to take care of Nasya and support my sis in anyway possible. I never knew that taking care of a kid could take so much time and effort. But as much as it may be physically tiring, it is definitely mentally enriching and such a joy to be able to make Nasya smile and make her day. Or should i say she makes my day? I look forward to going home and seeing her joyful smile when she sees me at the door. Its always a happy thing to be home. I pray that as this princess grow, she will come to learn to be strong and independent in this ever demanding and scary world. She will come to realise that life isnt all just about flowers and toys, but more than that, more than any of that, life is a constant race. Race with your own heart and mind, a race with all other kids out there, a race with time. But even with all the demands life will bring to her, she will learn to love. As much as she is under a umbrella, all sheltered, one day she will grow and learn how to be a big girl. And i pray that day to come. I hope she will grow up so strong, both her faith and her heart and know how to protect others around her. She is just such a joy in the eyes of many.
Anyway, today we celebrated her 1st birthday and it was nice having many people coming together for the celebration. A time of gathering and for catching up. I hope everyone had fun. It was alright having to meet up and talk to all the guests. But alot of people asked the same question: "where's your boyfriend (Alv)?" Everytime someone asked me that, it isnt that i was sad or anything, i was simply missing him alittle more and more and more. At least 10 of them asked the same question and all i could say was "he's away in brunei because of OCS" But i miss him so much. I wished he was there to be with me and talk to me and made me feel alittle less lonely. Its another 5 days before alv returns home. And i cant wait to see him. Its the good kind of miss anyway, not the emo kind haha.
Through these days without him, God has really been so faithful and helping me go through everyday like it should be. God's my companion and i'm thankful that so far i havent had any incidents where i broke down or felt vulnerable. i'm thankful for that.
Anyway in the month to come, its gonna be filled with so much things on my organizer that i'm gonna be so stretched. Tried asking my tuition kid for a break but both of the students' parents dont agree on giving a break for tuition for their kids. How sad is that. So while i have more meet ups and preps for the upcoming christmas festive, i still have tuition on 5 days a week. But nonetheless its good i guess. Time is money in the case for tuition. So i'll hang in there until i find the opportunity to stop the current students.
Okee its time for bed and preparations to conquer a new week. Holiday mood has to end here and tomorrow is the start of all the lectures and everything else. I hope monday blues wouldnt be so bad tmr. ): Good night folks.

Love,
Van

Photos from Malacca trip

Day 1

Stepping foot into our hotel

Nasya trying out our king size bed

Nasya learning to hug herself while we're at A&W

Amazing Christmas deco at Bei Zhan

 Day 2

Swimming (: (: 

Complimentary Hot Chocolate and Tea given by the hotel (; While we're at the poolside

Keeping Nasya warm after her dip in the pool (:

Me lazing beside the pool and enjoying the breeze

Our amazing breakfast right beside the pool! (:
Chicken and beef sandwich, Asparagus soup and club sandwich

Shopping at Mahkota! (:

Day 3

Tea Tree Spa where i did my full body massage

Complimentary English Breakfast while waiting for our turn

Ginger Tea after the relaxing massage

Our favourite Crepe Cake cafe that cant be found in SG

Handmade crepe cake done layer by layer

My Earl grey lavender tea 

She being cute (:


So that was our trip at a glance (:
Love,
Van

18th Day: Rejuvenated from a short getaway

Swimming pool at Holiday Inn with seaview

Its been like 4 days since i blogged about anything. Not becaused i didnt want to, but our family went away to Malacca, Malaysia for 3 days and though i brought my mac to be prepared to blog and all, there wasnt free internet access and it was chargeable so, i thought it wasnt worth to pay for the internet, and on the other hand i would love to just spend my holiday away from every distraction. No phone, no wifi, no twitter, none. Just my family and me enjoying ourselves indulging in all the scrumptious food and shopping spree we could ever find in Malacca.

Day 1 of our trip was also the day 1 of the start of the renovation at home, and all the hacking of the old tiles will begin. And so we left our home, all packed and ready to leave our sweet home for one month. Head off to drop stuff at uncle's place (Where we are crashing for the one month), and zoom off to head for the 2 hour drive to Malacca. Our first stop was of course our hotel. Holiday Inn Malacca. Amazing room with sea view and great service. I was enthusiastically tipping every hotel staff whevever they did something nice. hahaha. Anyway so we settled down in our joint room, jie, Nasya and I in the room with the bathtub and the KING SIZE bed, and parents in the room with the queen size bed since now we have nasya haha. Yap, so we settled down, warmed up and washed up alittle before heading off to our first shopping stop, Dataran Palawan shopping mall. We went there because we were craving for A&W which SG dont have. But apparently it was so disappointing cause there was a lack of staff, the fries were soggy, they didnt have waffle (Which was the main reason why i craved for A&W), they forgot to serve some of our order, but nonetheless, we ate all of it. And the shopping begin. Though i wasnt very interested cause the fashion there wasnt really to my liking, but it was nice spending time with the family, even if it was just walking around. After walking all over the mall, we went to starbucks. Me being such a fan, i need starbucks whereever i go haha. But one reason was because i collect the starbucks tumbler from all the countires i travel to. And i wouldnt want to miss this opportunity to add one more tumbler to my collection. The manager was really nice he gave me a free grande drink, and it was a pleasant experience there.  Soon it was time for dinner. We went to our all time favourite place, Bei Zhan. They serve really good chinese food, for example the steam cod fish, salad prawns and most of all they have blended veggie and pineapple juice that goes well for digestion. That scrumptious dinner ended our day and we retreated back to our hotel, watch some movies on the tv and slept.

Day 2 began with swimming at the pool which gave us amazing sea view. But i was so lazy and still in the sleepy mode, so i went to the pool side and laid on the seats to accompany dad, sis and Nasya while they swam. Being lazy, i was hungry at the same time. And guess what, mum ordered room service. But instead, they sent it to the poolside. Amazing service. I was like totally awake when the food arrived. SO we had a club sandwich, aspargus soup and chieken and beef sandwich with curly fries and salad. All of which came in servings that could feed like 5 of us. haha.  Amazing breakfast and it was the first time it really felt like we were on a holiday. Never did that before. Loved it. After enjoying the amazing breakfast, we head back to the room and got ready to head out for another shopping spree. This time we went to Mahkota parade, the other mall. Being rather unreceptive about the shopping i didnt expect to find anything i would like to buy. But to my surprise, there was a sale at Parkson ( a departmental store just like Isetan in SG) and the sale was for Ripcurl items. I managed to get my hand on 2 dresses, and got Alv something too (: Happy much haha. Oh and we went to Payless (the shoe shop from Aus or US i cant remember) anyway, how come the shoes in Payless singapore dont look as good as the ones in Malacca? haha I bought 3 pairs of shoes!!! hahah and they were soooooo cheap. One was at 7 SGD, another 11 and the other 20 i think. All were so comfortable and that hyped me up  alittle. hahah the shopaholic in me was unleashing. Sparing you all the tiny tiny details, although i did shop but it wasnt that alot. but i was really loving all my buys. Dinner was Seoul Garden since its much cheaper than Singapore's and we just kept eating all the types of chicken they had haha. But yap it wasnt really that fantastic. And we went to giant to do some stocking up of groceries and definitely on the cup noodles for our supper. Went back to the hotel to relax and watch movies once again, and munch on all the junk food we bought.

Day 3 started off with a relaxing full body massage that the whole family indulged in. Sis did the facial, and i did the full body massage. it was my second doing that and i guess i somehow got used to the stripping totally naked and being open about it to the lady doing the massage. But the small hut that individuals are entitled to for every treatment is so beautiful. It felt like i was in Bali or something. haha. Though it was awkward once inawhile, it was a relaxing and rejuvenating experience. But the most embarrassing thing was, after the 60 min massage, i couldnt understand what the lady said. To me it sounded like "Miss you can now take a one hour shower" BUT TURNED OUT, IT WAS ACTUALLY, " Miss dont shower for one hour". When mum told me that i was totally embarrassed and couldnt imagine how silly i was and what the lady must have been thinking when i started bathing in front of her behind the shower screen. hahaha. Even now thinking about it im still laughing at myself. Van so silly. haha. Yap so the morning was an amazing one. Then comes all the packing and all. Although the holiday was coming to an end, i wasnt feeling sad cause our final stop was the Johor Premiun Outlet which is what i was looking forward to. Shopping and more shopping! We had a 30 min drive before taking a short R&R at one of the pit stops and there was Buskin Robbins. It was so cheap i couldnt resist not buying. And after resting we continued in our journey. Dad went up to 150km/hr. SUCH SPEED haha, And WE REACHED THE SHOPPING HEAVEN. Though the first few shops we went werent really up to expectations, i guess it because it was all the high end shops that wasnt suitable for us. But the first shop i was excited for, was Adidas. Walked in and found so so many apparels that i was attracted to. But of course Adidas being Adidas, its so expensive. But i had my eye on a few items. A running tights, a tank top and a wind breaker. After contemplating for awhile, i chose the wind breaker. After all the discounts, it was only 36 SGD. So cheap! hahaha. Yap and we continued walking on, there wasnt anything much that i wanted to buy until we reached my next destination which i have been aiming for. FOSSIL. Was planning to change my current Fossil wallet even though its still in a good condition (Spoilt me). But, didnt manage to find something to my liking. But i found something Alv would like and something for a beloved friend (Gabby) for Christmas. Something small. And the shopping ended with me getting a Shu Umera lipstick (Cause Alv left my previous one in his coat that he had returned to OCS >_<) And that wrapped up our trip to Malaysia. The drive back to the customs was a exciting one because the road in malaysia werent all lighted up with street lamps like SG's. SO it was just pitch dark and our beaming headlights. But thank God, we made it home safely. I meant uncle's home.

This trip was definitely a rejuvenating and refreshing getaway for me. Away from school, away from all the hectic schedules. And i thank God for every single day of our trip. Keeping our family safe and giving us the sufficient finances to be able to thoroughly enjoy ourselves there.  It was such a relieve knowing that there were many singaporeans there at Malacca and also staying at holiday inn. Although it was away from all the life back in SG, i still missed Alv alot. Even right now i still do. Its been 6 days since i've heard his voice or made any contact with him. Even while being so caught up in all the shopping, i was constantly thinking of him. Thinking of what i could buy for him or what i would plan for him when he'e back. I guess thats the real meaning of love. No matter how great the distance, love exists and can overcome any barrier or obstacle as long as your love is strong. I guess i've truly experience the strength of love. I can't wait for him to be back and to give him his gifts. (:

So i agree this is a absolutely long post but its all i went through for the past 3 days in Malacca. Somehow 3 posts all in one.

14th Day: When the going gets tough, the tough gets going

What should i say. Erm, once again, i'm suppressed under the fact of being drained from all the commitments at all sorts of level in my life. And i'm once again at the crossed road, stuck in a dillema.
School i mean academic wise, i feel like i'm able to focus alittle more than i used to. Which is good. However while i hope to fully put my heart into studying, there are so many others things out there that's making it tough for me to fully concentrate and do well for all the assignments.
There's tuition which currently im taking two students. And one which i'm having problems with the commitment because the parent expects so much more out of me, wanting me to give the girl 4 times a week of tuition. The other student's family is rather compromising so thats one thing i'm thankful for. And once again, being weak at saying no and turning people down, is one of my absolute absolute weakness. I cant bring myself to disappoint others or to say no and just leave like that. Whats the best way for doing it? For telling her that my time is just not enough to stretch anymore for me to go down to teach her daughter who is in great need of support for her studies. Sigh
And there's Student Council commitments. Though i'm not there at times for the meetings and gatherings, i still have to be accountable to them and do my part for whatever that needs planning for. And when i do turn up for meetings, chances are that it ends late because of all the socializing and at times it isnt really productive. Taking up one day a week, but apart from the meetings, there are no behind the scene wrk to be done at home etc.
And there's church. This is one of the commitments that i fully enjoy serving in. And its never going to be at the bottom of the list. Instead, its one of the first, because God is first. Every 1st and 3rd saturday of the month, there is praise duty.
And apart from all of that, there are so many other upcoming stuff that i need to attend to. Just right now, im busy packing my clothes and essentials for moving to uncle's house, and tomorrow we're heading to Malacca. All that packing takes time and sucks up energy as well. And what more, there's christmas coming, lots of catching up meetings with all my loved that i've been missing, and in jan my wisdom tooth extraction which i have to go for 2 check ups before the real surgery.
I'm on the verge on breaking down about being so stretched. And so before the year ends, i'm gonna sit down and start to plan of letting go on the commitments that i know that i can let go of. Like what alv always say, "what's ur role and duty now? Its to be a student and study hard." Thats so true.
But i tend to struggle with balancing with the things i need to do, and the things i want to do. At times, the things that i want to do, end up becoming things i need to do and i dread them after awhile. So currently now, i'm having a love-hate relationship between my brain and my heart. Gonna need time to spend with God, just with Him and to ask Him what He has in plan for my life.
I guess thats the challenge of it, to really clear out the trash in my life and all the stuff that are unnecessary and really just focus on all the essential things i need to do with my life. Which now, its obviously to study.
Nonetheless, i'm tired and miss having alv around where i could pour all my trash and let it all out, talk it all out with him and he will be like my filter to clear and clean up my emotionals, setting me back on track with God's word in mind. In great need of that now. I miss you. It seems like everything else wasnt really going well with my life but you. When you're around life feels easier to go by. Me being cheesy again. But even now typing about you i feel slightly better and i can smile.hee hee.

Randomly opened my photo booth just now, and i found all the silly videos we took and photos before you left for Brunei. Cant help but to smile at all of them and recalling all of it.
Driving out all the negativities and putting in back all the positivities.

Love,
Van

When you return from Brunei....

I want to....
1. Hug you so tight
2. Hug you more!
3. Go shopping
4. Watch late night movies
5. Bake and bake and bake with you
6. GO TO THE ZOO
7. Run, swim, walk
8. Explore beautiful cafes with you
9. Go on a picnic
10. Make covers with my ukelele
11. Take lots and lots of pictures
12. Have sleepovers
13.Spend time with our families
14.Watch you fall asleep soundly beside me haha
15.Dress you up
16.Cook meals and not quarrel in the process of doing so
17.Pray to daddy God together while holding hands
18.Go to church together
19.Love you more everyday.

There's 19 items on the checklist, because we are already together for 19 months and counting. I cant imagine what happens when we get together for 100 months. We will so many things on the checklist.. hee hee. But that would be great.

I love you,
Van

13th Day: I'm trying to live everyday like it's my last day on earth

Its been awhile since i stayed up, instead of blogging or tumblring, I was studying. Rather proud of myself for taking this step of courage to move out of procrastination. The past months i haven't been very motivated and started to just live as the day goes by, there was nothing i was chasing for nor a goal i wanted to achieve with my life. I'm not too sure if what im hoping for is truly what my future holds, but at least now i have something in mind. Something to push me on and to bring me back to that van who was once motivated and would do everything to achieve that goal.
I guess the biggest obstacle in my way, is the fear of failure once again. The failure that felt like i dropped from a thousand feet high right straight to the ground and there was no way back up. And no matter how hard i tried, i realised all i was doing was to avoid and run away from the fact that i have failed. Gave myself all kinds of excuses to make myself feel better. But that never last. It just gives you more reason to make up more excuses.
Furthermore, i realised the only person or thing that can pull you out of the failure, is yourself. Only yourself. Your friends and loved ones can be there to encourage you and talk to you, but if you yourself dont acknowledge that you need to get back up again and move on, no one else can. Just like the saying goes, 'If you dont help yourself, even God cant help you.' As harsh as it seems, its the fact. And i've come to realise that the truth is always the harshest. And we've just to face it. Failures break us down so hard i agree, but they make us stronger. Once you fail and fall, the only way out, is to get back up again.
Therefore, i'm hoping to give my all and try to organize my life alittle before the year ends and a new year will begin again. Hoping for the best.
Yap, so i burnt the night oil tonight, managed to catch up on the notes for my business management lectures, and econs alittle. Got ready for tomorrow's econs tutorial. But there's still lots to do, especially on the packing part. We're shifting to aunt's house tmr ): not too excited for the shift cause it means im losing my privacy and i no longer have the liberty of my space to spend and enjoy the silence of the night which i love. But, 1 month will fly by (i hope it zooms past).
Oh yah, i fell in with two new songs. 1. Marry Me - Train 2. When I was your man- Bruno Mars. Yes they are contrasting songs. Marry me is just simply sweet and i feel in love with it when the live band at the wedding dinner yesterday sang it, and the words just touched me. Whereas for the second song, its so realistic as to how some guys only come to realise what they've lost after relationships have been broken. But its too late for time to reverse. And the ballad that Bruno mars did, is so sincere. The song reminded me of a past i dont like to recall, and wished the guy felt the same way when he chose to let me go. (evil me haha) But anyways the song taught me to cherish and give your all to the person you love. Not waiting for a chance to regret or look back and realised that you havent loved a particular person enough. It would be too late by then. I dont wish to feel the same guilt like how the song does.
Guess its late enough. 1:51am. Time to head to bed or else i'm gonna be late for school, or looking like a zombie when i go to school. hahahah. Good night

Another 8 days to go to hear your voice again.

Love while you still can,

Van

12th Day: Busy busy weekend

Today is Sabbath day. But unfortunately our family did not go to church because daddy was too exhausted and has been having problem sleeping. So the packing began again. Pack and pack and pack and more packing. I finally took the courage to fold my clothes. If you dont know, i had 2 heaps of clothes that was so so much clothes they overflowed from the basket and started to grow higher and higher by the day. About 1.5m tall haha. And yap, i finally could not take it anymore and decided to fold all of it. Anyway in 3 days time we will have to move to uncle's place because of the renovation. Therefore there is even more reason for me to fold the clothes.
And so time flew by so quickly i dont even know it could go by so quickly, and managed to fold everything, pack my room, vacuum it, and even cleared two big bags of things that were on top of my wardrobe for the longest time ever. When i finally managed to bring them down, realised those two bags contained things that werent even mine. It was a bag filled with plastic and paper bags that my sis kept and the other bag was all her old soft toys. They were left there when she shifted to the other room. That was like 3 or 4 years ago?! And asking her if she still wanted them, she said no. I could have simply gotten those space to put my own stuff haha. But anyways im glad and satisfied that at least i could clear some trash and my room is so much neater now. On a scale of 0 to 10, before i packed it was like -2.5 and after packing, im grading myself a 20 hahahaha. The awesome feeling of having a neater and cleaner room is priceless (:
Apart from all the chaotic packing, alv managed to call thrice today. Which made me very happy because the next 9 days to come, he's gonna be gone again out in the jungle for the JCC. But im glad he called and texted whenever he could. And last night his instructors gave out the letters that family and friends wrote to encourage them. And he got my letter (: Apparently i went to apply lipstick and kissed the letter. haha. Yes as silly as it sounds and cheesy as it may be, kinda want him to know that i'll always be there no matter how far or tough it may be. Cant wait for him to be back. Need my bestfriend back.
And so after all the packing, i finally i had to stop packing cause we had to prepare for the wedding dinner of Ping Hong and Charlette. It was one of the most enjoyable wedding dinners i've been to. They had a facebook group set up for guests to upload photos of their time at the dinner and we uploaded Nasya's photo. And the photo with the most likes wins a token. And of course.... She won it. hahaha. Apart from that they had a live band from Sparkle Music if im not wrong. They could sing quite a variety of genres, which surprised me. From Gangnam style to Everyday i love you by the Boyzone. And the vocals, a guy and girl, were really good, they made the ambience so enjoyable. The food was alright, like all other wedding dinners, the 8-course dish. And they had a really amazing video montage of the wedding yesterday with all the hype of the groom going to pick the bride at the bride's house and all. Just simply so sweet. I had a wonderful night. And that wraps up the weekends i guess. It was rather a meaningful one. And hopefully my wedding would be as special and unique (thinking far ahead again van..haha)
The weekly marathon begins again. Marathons, SRC meetings, tuition sessions, studying, exercising. But for the weeks to come, i believe adjustments have to be made. Gonna move out and live with uncle and aunt, going to Malacca on wed til friday. All the packing of luggages and stuff. Its gonna take alot. And the renovation going on at home as well. I guess this december is going to be filled with so much work. Hopefully the renovation will end before the new year. So we can have a nice newly furnished place to celebrate the new year.
Can't wait for Christmas to come. But until down, i'll just do what i gotta do and pray for grace. 12 days to alv's return. Not the 12 days of christmas haha. Thank God for yet another weekend that has past.

Just like what you said, "After this, our love will grow even stronger, so smile always."

Good night,
Van *smiling*